23 and Getting to Know Me
I could finesse my way through an interview or a surface level conversation, but I couldn't really define my personality, what my strengths were, why I reacted to certain things in a particular way, etc.
Last summer, at the age of 23, I was faced with the task of updating my LinkedIn bio. Now, what may seem like a simple undertaking for most instead called me to answer the seemingly difficult question of, “how would you describe yourself?” I tried to blame my inability to create a bio on the lack of confidence I had in my writing. But the reality was, I was uncomfortable with the idea of having to describe myself. Quite honestly, I didn't know HOW to describe myself. It gave me anxiety to think about how other people would perceive my bio. My writing. ME.
I asked my friend, someone whose eloquence and intelligence I admired, to help me draft my bio. Instantly, she suggested that I take the 16Personalities test. I had taken personality tests before in school and at work so I thought I would give her recommendation a try.
When I took the 16Personalities test, the results shared that I am an adventurer*, meaning I am introverted, observant, empathetic, and curious. I was shocked. This test that required less than ten minutes to take was spot on in describing me. To be honest, I got a bit competitive after seeing this and decided that "nobody (or nothing) should know Jill better than Jill knows Jill."
Once I made this choice, I began to look into other personality tests. I re-visited the Gallup’s Strengths Finder test that I had taken two years before at the age of 21 for a scholarship. My top five themes, in 2017 when I received my results, were futuristic, activator, adaptability, achiever, and arranger. I then took the StandOut Assessment which identified that I am a teacher and a connector.
At first, I was a little embarrassed and incredibly frustrated. How had I spent more than 23 years with myself and couldn't find the words to describe me, but these tests could do it within a matter of minutes. I kept saying "well duh" to myself as I read my results. Then I thought, "Daaaannnngggggg, Jill! This is why everybody seems to know you better than you know yourself! Jill isn't spending time with Jill, Jill isn't learning about Jill, and Jill most certainly not pouring into Jill as much as she is pouring into everybody else."
Through this realization, I vowed to be more intentional with how and what I spend my time doing. I wanted to begin focusing on activities that energize me and engage my strengths more.
What started as an act of desperation turned into a habitual and life-altering practice. I continued exploring various tests** and other resources including self-help books, such as Untethered Soul and The Four Agreements and podcasts explaining how the human mind functions. For a few months, I made it a goal to spend more time with myself. I put my phone on ‘Do Not Disturb’ at 8 pm every evening. Rather than aimlessly scrolling social media to see what other people thought, I began journaling to observe and form my own opinions. I stopped forcing myself to do things because I felt like other people expected me to do them, and started doing things because I wanted to do them.
Now, I am 24. Although learning more about myself continues to be a daily task, I can still confidently say that I have a much better sense of self. This journey has elevated my level of consciousness to one to one of self-awareness and self-love. And it is a journey that I am excited to continue...
*(ISFP-A/ISFP-T) was the exact result I received from the 16Personalities Test.
**Links to the tests mentioned as well as a few others I took: